The Rise of the Independent - Part IV, Mule Brittania
Written by Sorana Santos on Tuesday the 9th of November 2010
A cursory glance over the shoulders of a fellow commuter on the underground had me almost wishing I was illiterate. Apparently, Lily Allen is not only an 'accomplished' songwriter, singer, and entrepreneur, but the ballgown/Nike air/sovreign-wearing Londoner has also been judging style awards. Indeed. This publication, which I ought to name and shame really, was full of rhapsodic praise for the star who, potty mouth aside, can do no wrong.
In this topsy-turvy world we live in where footballers earn more than nurses are we really surprised that the best-paid musicians in this country are generally those with the lowest level of skill at their craft? So, to be s*** is to be good? Course, I get the point that the intention is to sell a 'lifestyle' to the lowest common denominator, but is the lowest common denominator really this low? (Then this is really limbo huh...No, wait, purgatory?) How is it possible that we live in a society that doesn't know how to listen to music both objectively and subjectively, and so buys into 'culture-commercialism' that disrespects and disregards the need for any other skill than narcissism and self-promotion? How fantastic and convenient for the pockets of The Man it is for us that people don't tend to think for themselves, but of themselves. Hardly surprising therefore that Britain is notorious for being a stubborn mule of a place to get anything arts-based going compared to other countries, particularly if you're actually any good.
As much as we as a nation like to poke fun at 'dumb Americans', in my experience I've found that in fact they herald a better quality of music than us here. For a start they play Jazz in their coffee shops. Yes, that's right, and not Jamie Cullum Pseudo-Jazz either, I'm talking about the real deal Coltrane etc... yeah, the scary stuff that might make you think. They might not know they can speak English but they listen to Jazz, or at least, they're OK with it being on in the background; they're proud of the little history they do have, whereas us, we've all but stamped it out in an attempt to, well, be like them... only being the mule that we are, languish half way in the race, braying a-La Roux. Not that I think Starbucks in Croydon would necessarily be made better by a troupe of Morris Dancers, but it'd be a start - as if the coffee over here wasn't nauseating enough without the background music acting so as to condition you against coffee; the Morris Dancers might actually make me want to go back. Alternatively you could try selling 'Jazz' as a lifestyle to the mainstream here in the UK, though at the current rate we'd need a famine in order to market this as the next best thing.
Secondly, venues have pianos. This means they could well be run by musicians themselves, or at least people who like music and have some understanding, and even an appreciation of it (imagine that). If you're a piano player in the UK you're pretty stuffed unless you enjoy piano sounds on 22kg keyboards, driving through rush hour traffic and finding nowhere to park to set up in the corner of an empty pub and play... for free. Bitterness aside, think about it: comparatively how many of our exports are piano-based singer-songwriters/bands? I can think of Kate Bush and Elton John, and maybe Gary Barlow and that guy from East 17 when I'm feeling particularly humorous, which I'm not.
Thirdly: objectively compare the quality of the music signed to major labels out there with those signed over here. Do you think, say, a band like The Mars Volta would get a look in with WarnerBros UK? Not with Mule, sorry, Muse occupying that top slot. They get TMV, we get Muse (a name I hope they gave themselves in good British irony) - now that hardly seems fair does it?
No wonder Britons find it so hard to 'crack' America once they've made a name for themselves over here, it seems like they've got some sense after all. Well, they did ban Lily Allen...
In this topsy-turvy world we live in where footballers earn more than nurses are we really surprised that the best-paid musicians in this country are generally those with the lowest level of skill at their craft? So, to be s*** is to be good? Course, I get the point that the intention is to sell a 'lifestyle' to the lowest common denominator, but is the lowest common denominator really this low? (Then this is really limbo huh...No, wait, purgatory?) How is it possible that we live in a society that doesn't know how to listen to music both objectively and subjectively, and so buys into 'culture-commercialism' that disrespects and disregards the need for any other skill than narcissism and self-promotion? How fantastic and convenient for the pockets of The Man it is for us that people don't tend to think for themselves, but of themselves. Hardly surprising therefore that Britain is notorious for being a stubborn mule of a place to get anything arts-based going compared to other countries, particularly if you're actually any good.
As much as we as a nation like to poke fun at 'dumb Americans', in my experience I've found that in fact they herald a better quality of music than us here. For a start they play Jazz in their coffee shops. Yes, that's right, and not Jamie Cullum Pseudo-Jazz either, I'm talking about the real deal Coltrane etc... yeah, the scary stuff that might make you think. They might not know they can speak English but they listen to Jazz, or at least, they're OK with it being on in the background; they're proud of the little history they do have, whereas us, we've all but stamped it out in an attempt to, well, be like them... only being the mule that we are, languish half way in the race, braying a-La Roux. Not that I think Starbucks in Croydon would necessarily be made better by a troupe of Morris Dancers, but it'd be a start - as if the coffee over here wasn't nauseating enough without the background music acting so as to condition you against coffee; the Morris Dancers might actually make me want to go back. Alternatively you could try selling 'Jazz' as a lifestyle to the mainstream here in the UK, though at the current rate we'd need a famine in order to market this as the next best thing.
Secondly, venues have pianos. This means they could well be run by musicians themselves, or at least people who like music and have some understanding, and even an appreciation of it (imagine that). If you're a piano player in the UK you're pretty stuffed unless you enjoy piano sounds on 22kg keyboards, driving through rush hour traffic and finding nowhere to park to set up in the corner of an empty pub and play... for free. Bitterness aside, think about it: comparatively how many of our exports are piano-based singer-songwriters/bands? I can think of Kate Bush and Elton John, and maybe Gary Barlow and that guy from East 17 when I'm feeling particularly humorous, which I'm not.
Thirdly: objectively compare the quality of the music signed to major labels out there with those signed over here. Do you think, say, a band like The Mars Volta would get a look in with WarnerBros UK? Not with Mule, sorry, Muse occupying that top slot. They get TMV, we get Muse (a name I hope they gave themselves in good British irony) - now that hardly seems fair does it?
No wonder Britons find it so hard to 'crack' America once they've made a name for themselves over here, it seems like they've got some sense after all. Well, they did ban Lily Allen...
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